Nkatha is a Kenyan name adapted from the Ameru community who reside on the slopes of Mt.Kenya. The Ameru are from the Bantu community. The Bantus are also found in Eastern, Central, and South Africa.
When growing up, I was told that Nkatha meant a dignified rich, and prosperous woman. When I was older, I discovered that Nkatha means a woman of substance, virtue, a hard worker. She is kind, gentle, hospitable, and friendly. Nkatha also means to hold tight as she is believed to hold her family together. A Proverbs 31 woman she is.
This is my third blog site. It took a while to settle for the name and content. My life is not made up of one aspect but it is multifaceted. As you read through, you will find issues to deal with day-to-day living, health, religion, and maybe some politics or even sports which I am yet to write about.
There are dozens of manuscripts and drafts that span for the past decade and a half. Hopefully they will see the backroom of a publisher house one day. I was born a creative with stories to write.
Thank you for visting my blog site. Enjoy the reading and don’t forget to leave a comment.
This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
To all our friends and families, we lost along the way and we never got the much-needed closure.
Suicide is real, and anyone can fall victim to it. Anyone who attempts suicide is unwell. They need a lot of love and support to keep them grounded as they continue with their treatment. Let us be the much-needed anchor wherever we can.
Why will always be the question, Who could be the answer but, When takes us back to Why
I am seated on the bed asking myself why couldn’t my last year be as calm as this year?
Our minds are our prisons, influenced by our environments including emotions. Emotions play a major role in the decisions we make in our lives. A healthy human being should be balanced but we all go through the mental health continuum where we see saw through illness to wellness.
Are all human beings negative or it is just me? Sometimes it is human to have an array of both positive and negative emotions unless the ones who have a poor emotional functioning centre. Unable to experience normal emotions. There is a large portion of ourselves that is pessimistic. It takes a lot of dedication and work to be positive despite a lot happening in our lives.
Why do people suffer in silence? As human beings we have our insecurities despite the large smiles, successful businesses and jobs, picture perfect portraits. They could have the fear of being seen as weak. We all want to be seen as successful even if we are not. We will lie for our insufficiencies since want to be seen as accomplished and life is going on well. At times we can be vulnerable but we choose to be partial in working it. There are things that we cannot mention even to our closest of persons.
It is not we do not trust them but we do not trust ourselves to talk about things that we deem super personal and if they are known by other persons, it could ruin our reputation. People in any class value their reputations. This has seen people have so many skeletons that become an everyday baggage. People want to hide their struggles, their pain , their mistakes, their disappointment and have perfect cover ups.
The cover ups end up draining their mind, body and soul eventually life out of them. There are a lot of modern sayings that promote the hiding of these misgivings. We have heard of do not air your dirty linen because you do not know who is for you or who is against you. So if we cannot talk about what ails us the most, what do we do?
Most people develop various coping mechanisms. Remember people like the easier way out and will take up easy ways to soothe a sore situation. A few negative coping mechanisms can be use of alcohol and drugs, engaging in infidelity, gambling, porn and much more. Human beings will always seek out pleasure. Anything that requires discipline will not be in the life menu.
For example someone struggling with a disorder like insomnia might prefer to pop a pill or two instead of talking it out with a therapist to figure out their source of problems. Some might say that is cheaper to get a pill than therapy but therapy would have sorted a few underlying issues. People just like the easier way out of situations.
In taking up the easier routes, then some laxity can be observed. Some will not be cautious of their subsequent encounters with their issues since they got their quick fixes. We are not taught that life is hard, we live it, because capitalism is already drowning us with inflation. We just want people to be intentional in their lives when handling a few uncomfortable situations.
Some people will prefer to talk to God, which is a good thing. Though one should also try taking up a few options that have been provided for in the world of the living. As the clock tics away more people are going through hardships that can be talked over and eased, others have developed mental health disorders as we lose others to suicide for lack of hope in the living system. Does the death system help? We can never know unless a person apart from Jesus rises to report to us.
Listening to some Erik Satie compositions and wondering why we are so afraid to face our problems? Nobody likes pain, another said that do not trouble trouble before trouble troubles you. There is some truth in it. We need to develop a culture of speaking out in the very least. Only then can we help ourselves and our communities.
I am in the business of helping others as I help myself and also helping myself as I help others. Whichever way you put it, everyone needs help at some point in their lives. It looks like I had taken a long break. Procrastination is real around here. I have been writing material in my head but not here. Nevertheless feels good to be back.
We are living in a world that is moving too fast for our comfort. Everyone is trying to keep up with the trends resulting in unnecessary anxiety and stress. Many people may be going through a form of an anxiety disorder without their knowledge. It might not be possible to have a proper diagnosis on this platform but a few hacks to feel better or have a better day is what we need.
Endorphins
These are little hormones/ magicians which relieve pain, reduce stress, and boost feelings of pleasure and physical wellbeing. You might know a few ways to produce this happy hormone but take some time to go through the below list of helpful tips.
Exercise 🏃
Whether in a regular gym workout, nature walk, indoor workout, yoga, swimming, running, or cycling. All these are great ways to get your happy hormones in check.
Have sex 👩❤️👨
This only applies to the married and other forms of consenting adults.
Laugh 🐵
It is often said that laughter is the best medicine. Try laughing today. We live in an age where information on anything is available at a click of a button. In my country, we have the laugh industry. For the young, at heart, Tom and Jerry is a classic favorite, looney toons, pink panther, and Mr. Bean. For the adults, Trevor Noah does a great job. Don’t let a day go by without laughing.
Burn essential oils ♨
This is a practice that is common in the Asian world. It is gaining a lot of momentum in the other parts of the world, especially in beauty spas. Some commonly used oils are chamomile, lavender, lemon, rose, and also bergamot orange.
Growing up we were encouraged to get hobbies. I enjoyed painting and drawing but nowadays I write more. When we activate our creative side whether, in painting crocheting, singing, or composing, it has a positive feedback mechanism that keeps us feeling happy and achieved. It is never too late to get a hobby if you don’t have one
Eat Spicy foods 🍲
Thinking of taking a spicy meal, just dig in. Some of the spices you can incorporate into your meals are valerian root, turmeric, and also chamomile.
Vent about stressful situations 😤
Each time you read or listen to the news, there is something stressful going on. We need to de-stress often. The best way to do this is by talking to someone. Girls have their gossip teas, others will take up a shrink and some will blaze up on social media platforms. Just find a healthy way to vent it out
Eat dark chocolate 🍫
The darker the chocolate the healthier it is. Chocolate is also a global language of love. Dark chocolate is best known for its antioxidant properties, and reduction of blood pressure hence the improvement of blood flow. It is also an aphrodisiac.
Looks like getting these happy hormones is not as hard. A glass of wine once in while is manageable to keep your stress levels in check
Dance
Every once in a while it is advisable to break a move. You might want to join Zumba dance, dance in the shower, dance in the church as long as it is a dance then you have added an ounce of health.
Look forward to the next set of good feel hormones and how easy it is to achieve them
Just another day of unearthing what lay buried within.
My friend wanted to get her eyes checked at a town eye clinic. On other hand I wanted to get my second vaccine shot. So we accompanied each other till when we had to part ways to go to our respective service providers. I was very pleased with the service I got. The vaccination center was well organized, had adequate staff and the staff were quite efficient. Let me mention that I had gone to two previous centres the same morning only to be disappointed with the level of organization and agonizing snail moving queues.
Later on, I joined my friend who was still at the reception. The place was quite packed. I knew of the health facility but I had never stepped in to see what went on. Just by looking at the reception, I knew we had a lot of eye-related problems. Then I got lost in a gaze with lots of thoughts running through my mind. One particular thought troubled my mind and sure enough, I was feeling powerless to it.
My friend was quick to notice my mental absence and prompted the what ifs conversation.
Over a decade ago, immediately after my internship I had applied for my higher national diploma in ophthalmology and cataract surgery. I was so enthusiastic about about eye care. The interest had developed during my internship and by the time I was done, I was in love with eyes and saving sight. As I type this the same feeling is building up.
By God’s grace I got my appointment letter to study in the capital city. I was thrilled. By then I was working in the rural health facilities in a health promotion program. My dad had discouraged me from furnishing my house since I was anticipating to go back to school. I had only worked for four months and did not have enough savings for my tuition fee.
In a previous blog, I wrote of how I had planned out my life but only a few things have been accomplished. But for those who have not read it, I will drop a link below. However I will briefly describe the plan. I was to finish up my Internship, enroll for a HND, proceed to my undergraduate studies, then a post graduate degree and eventually finish off with a doctorate degree. So clearly getting this HND was needed.
Sourcing for school fees was not easy. I was in a dilemma to quit my new job and going to study without financial security or forfeit the study opportunity and continue working. I went to seniors in the field, most told me that a HND adds little value to my professional growth and that an undergraduate degree would have been a better option. Very few were supportive. But there a problem of where to source for school fees since I was not employed by the government. Normally civil servants get good opportunities to study including study scholarships. This saw me go to our local church priest for advice. Eventually no matter how far we seek for advice from people, the solution lies within us.
Back to my choice. I asked my friend, what would have happened later in my life if I went to school and did the HND? Her response was that probably I would not have met her. But I told her that I would have probably met her as my patient in the hospital that we were both sitting awaiting her eye check-up. A quick note is that I met my friend while pursuing my undergraduate and that was after I made a decision not to pursue my HND. The decision behind it will be in another blog soon.
As I was sitting at the waiting bay, I could not help but wonder some more what-ifs. In the past decade, I have made major life-defining decisions. How would my life be if I took option B or Z instead of A? Would I be living a different life, would I know different people would I have better opportunities? Still, regarding eye care, I felt drawn to it and I almost asked for hands-on job training. To a point, I felt a deep loss for not being headstrong and pursuing it no matter what. Then I wondered how many more opportunities might have slipped my fingers as I was being indecisive on some issues.
We all have answers to the questions we seek within. My answer on my what ifs did not take long. For over a decade, my personality has not changed much. If there were mistakes that I have made, most certainly I would have replicated them in different scenarios. Just because I did not pursue the HND, do I have the energy to pursue it now? Would it make sense now or I would rather sweep that thought under the carpet of the many undone things and wait for another moment to experience a reawakened but not forgotten passion?
By the end of the day, will I be headstrong and pursue something that I left a decade ago and probably have a chance to experience parallel life instead of sitting and wondering over it? Or will I go and do something else as I am currently doing. Whichever way I would want to think over it, the need to make a choice no matter the consequence still lies in me.
I am sure most of you have found themselves in the what-if scenario. It may not be as similar to mine. Maybe there was a job offer in a different company but due to the loyalty you have in the current company, you stuck around. Then covid-19 struck and you got laid off but in the other company they never laid off anyone. The same happens, especially in relationships. You opt to marry one of the many and within one year, the marriage comes to a dead end. Then you end up wondering would it have ended the same if it were with the other option? Very rocky what-ifs.
Beauty of the soul can be seen through the eyes.
In summary we will always be stuck in a what if parallel universe. So if I did pursue the HND my tag line would be something like this. The sense of sight is a great gift to mankind. Protect your eyes by wearing shades on a hot day or wear a wide hat. Avoid over counter medication for your eyes. It costs less to see an eye specialist than to loose your sight. Have an in-sight-full day
Long before I met my life coach and shrink I was used to having monologues. This came about as a result of being the only child in a big house. I had the privilege of owning a big brown cat that I loved dearly. Hence made a lot of conversation with my cat. To date, I still love cats but learning to appreciate dogs with time.
In my adult life, I have learnt that having monologues is healthy and in fact, it is advocated by mental specialists and life coaches. In my country people simply call it, ‘kujiita kamkutano’ translating to calling yourself to a meeting. During these conversations with self, most people tend to make better decisions and figure out solutions they need.
Let us remember that man is a social being. Despite each person’s individualism, some factors influence their decisions. The major factor is the environment and there are various types but in this write-up, we will focus on the human environment. This consists of the immediate family, co-workers, schoolmates, social gathering mates and the list continues.
Back to me in me. As a young lady, there are so many expectations from our human environment. At certain ages like mine (cannot disclose due to security reasons) parents will expect you to have a stable well paying job ( for those of us who are inclined to being employed), a big house, a big car, lots of money to dish out and for others a stable family with a husband and several children. With regards to the above, other environmental factors have already influenced my outcome.
Early this year I made a 5-year life plan. It consisted of career development, spiritual development, financial development, social development, and hobby development. The plan was spectacular, still marvelling at it. Due to unavoidable, circumstances, the plan was put on hold. Some changes made were in career development, social development and financial development. Almost the whole plan became void.
I love my girlfriends, they make my day and form a big portion of my human environment. Some things that I put at bay were marriage and adding more babies. Recently while enjoying some spiced tea and chocolate oat biscuits, one of my girlfriend asked me to focus on getting married soon so as not to end up as an old maid. She went on to give me examples of ladies who were too successful to attract marriageable partners. Another one jumped into the conversation adding that the moment I get a potential partner I should be in a hurry to add more babies since a woman’s body (specifically her eggs) age fast as she grows older. The conversation went on and on. Clearly, they made very valid suggestions.
By the time the ‘catch up’ was over, I was left confused, emotionally unsure of whether I wanted more children, felt insecure of becoming an old maid and partially having failed in some aspects of my life that my then environment perceived as important. The ideas from the conversation ran through my mind a lot. At some point, I developed self-doubt, lowered self esteem and some bit of discontentment.
Luckily I journal a lot so I decided to go through my notes before and after the life plan. As I was doing so, I was busy critiquing the ideas using monologues. I was able to see through what my mind thinking by then and I was putting the ideas on a scale to see their feasibility. By the end of the little exercise, the was a sigh of relief as I had gotten ideas on how to put my affairs in order.
Some of you might be wondering, why didn’t I do that in the first place to avoid the unnecessary mental pain. The answer lies in having healthy coping mechanisms. At times we feel so helpless forgetting how strong we are. Due to so many factors, we end up with sad stories of how we are unable to do anything in our lives. The more we focus on the sad stories, the more unable we become. In short, an inventory in one’s life is important for basic sanity.
Some argue that Africa should have remained under colonial rule. Post-colonial freedom was met with a lot of uncertainties. These were civil wars, constitutional referendums, elections, exiles, political prisoners and overall economic woes.
Below is a brief biography of Equatorial Guinea 🇬🇳. A country that went through death to rebirth and has never looked back.
Most African countries gained their independence in the late ’50s and early ’60s. One young country was Equatorial Guinea: it gained its independence in 1968. This was after the election of its first president, Fransisco Macias Nguema.
Like most countries at the time, self-governance was a period long overdue. What these countries failed to realize was that taking over from the colonial Lords was like entering enchanted territories.
Macias Tyranny
After only three months in power, President Macias became paranoid and chose oppression and dictatorship to rule the country. He thought that the losing parties from the election were out to get him. This was confirmed by a failed coup attempt in 1969.
The coup was allegedly thought to be influenced by Spain. In just six months most of the Spaniards, the bulk of the educated and professional persons, left the country leaving only a handful. Macias went on to cut ties with Spain and seek assistance from the east.
The country depended on China for consumer goods, merchandise and technical assistance. Cuba provided teachers and doctors. The Soviet Union fished along the country’s shores at good rates.
Macias paranoia increased and lead the country to be a single-party state. The country was blocked away from the entire world since foreign journalists were not allowed. Macias formed his national guard in 1970 that was responsible for extrajudicial arrests, threats, intimidation, tortures and murders.
Previous currency
In 1973 the citizens under duress passed a new constitution. It gave Macias absolute power and made him president for life. By 1974, two-thirds of the National Assembly had disappeared. Most civil servants had been imprisoned, killed or exiled.
At this point, electricity, transport and mail service came to a halt. Western medicine was banned leading to the spread of preventable deadly diseases. Religious meetings were prohibited and private schools closed. In 1978 Macias declared the county as an atheist state. He went ahead to give himself 46 official titles: one notably was ‘No other God than Macias’.
Take over
A small country that had a population of 300,000 pre-independence, only 50% could be accounted for. In 1979 a ‘Freedom Coup’ lead by Obiang Nguema succeeded. He went on to become the president. During his first year in office, he called out for a professionals to establish a regimen for the people.
He went to the former colonizer, Spain for aid. They offered loans and technical assistance. In the ’80s the country could barely pay its employees. In 1982, a new constitution was passed and has been amended a lot of times.
Rebirth
Since its second liberation, oil explorations were carried out by Spanish and French companies for ten years with no success. President Obiang reached for an American company. In just 6 months oil had been found. This increased the GDP from $0.3B to $22.7B in 2008.
Obiang’s administration improved the health care, education, infrastructure and overall wellbeing of the citizens. This was made possible by the government organizing economic conferences in the country. It incorporated all sectors to contribute on how the country would benefit from the oil.
During the second economic conference dubbed Horizon 2020, made major decisions for the oil revenue. This improved and increased schools. UNESCO declared Equatorial Guinea to have the highest literacy rate in Africa. The first Afro University of Central africa was constructed to serve the block. New medical facilities came up including a mental health hospital.
Social housing increased. The physical infrastructure was transformed with bridges, ports, airports, and has one of the best road networks in Africa. Electricity generation increased by 1400% through hydropower. Most of the country is connected to the grid.
Capital city- Malabo
National parks were created. Modern hotels were constructed. The country hosts most African Union summits and also the regional parliament.
Donor capacity
The country has sponsored annual UNESCO prizes in the life sciences. It has also donated $30million to fight hunger globally. More donations were made to Japan during the floods also in Haiti. It provided money for transport of doctors during the Ebola epidemic.
It also gave donation to the peace keeping mission in the Central African Republic. It established a food security fund of $13million in FAO for African countries. This will ensure that African countries undergoing drought and famine will be first considered for aid.
African countries can have sustainable economies. African countries can help each other. African countries can change for the better. African countries can help other continents. African countries can contribute to global affairs. Equatorial Guinea is the only African country with a non-permanent seat in the UN.
We live in unprecedented times. Everytime I look back, life is getting blurry as we live on. Despite all that, we have new technologies coming up, more infrastructure, and more diseases. Ironically as we advance in technology, we should have fewer diseases, more jobs, and better living for everyone. Unfortunately, that is a phantasmagoria.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, people globally have been subjected to find several ways to table bread in their houses. This has given rise to a generation of survival for the fittest anthem. Sadly this is survival by any means possible. Before technology took center stage, we had armed robbers stealing from homes, businesses, and banks. There is a decline in such activities. I wonder if they are still even active.
Boom! Came in technology, which gave rise to a different kind of armed robbers. They are smart tech-savvy individuals with a crafty mindset. Even people in Africa have fallen victim to these con artists in a big way. This has been made possible through the infiltration of the mobile phone connectivity. The mobile phone has been very beneficial in Africa. It eased communication and improved money availability through mobile banking.
There was a popular slogan some time back, ‘fake it till you make it’. Then it morphed to ‘do it till you make it’ and I am not sure what is currently trending. Thanks to technology we now have a clout fever. Everyone wants to be famous online and make easy money. Feels like popping a bottle of champagne and one is an instant internet sensation. Some people got lucky but others not so much.
There some people who have lived through the industrial to the digital age. They know the value of putting down some hard work to earn a living. They lived in the days when getting a high school certificate could guarantee one a job in the bank. Currently, even a master’s degree is simply another qualification with many others. Employment is scarce and the population still on a steep growth.
When you look through yourself, are there instances when got money or work through unmerited means? Did it make you feel sad, happy, proud, or apathetic because it is life? Most people have a conscience that makes them do the right thing, however, some argue that circumstances force them to choose the opposite. No matter the reason, we are obliged to do the right thing all the time
Then we have our religious brothers and sisters who work hard to heed what is dictated in their holy books. This makes them develop a conscience that guides their lives. Let us keep in mind man is not without fault. People still have a will in whatever they want to do with their lives.
There was a time when I was sitting with my girls. We were joking over our financial statuses, then of how our honest earning techniques were not getting us where we desired to be. As the talk deepened we found out that we know some acquaintances who are con artists. Afterward, it got me thinking about these ‘con artists’ and what it takes for them to be successful. They must be very hardworking.
When we are comfortable with our 8-5 pm or 12hr work shifts, these con artists spend a lot of hours perfecting their art. Interesting so, they improve with time and even get a face of legitimacy to it. In this digital age, it is easy to put a facade over anything. It may sound like a cliche, but people can make it through an honest pathway. We just need to be more deliberate about our time and money choices.
It is said that being a Christian is not enough but one has to be born-again to enjoy a true Christian life. When one is born-again, it does not mean that they know everything in the Bible; They simply live according to God’s word- the Bible. Before my new faith, I had a number of questions about how some born-again Christians lived and the actions they chose.
Some years ago I met a brother who invited me to his church. By then I was not attending any church since I had my own disputes with religion. After a long thought I agreed to accompany him to his church in the near future. By agreeing to attend his church, some of my religion and Christianity queries were answered and it felt like home.
Things later changed between us since I was not born-again. He kept quoting a verse that believers should not be yoked with unbelievers. To an unbeliever like me, it made no sense. Despite attending the church, being born-again was only a blur in my mind. Without any notice I had been cut off by the brother. To my surprise so were some few mutual friends.
When I spoke with the mutual friends, we questioned his actions but could not get any answers in his absence. What lingered in our minds was, what type of Christian just cuts off his friends because they are not born-again? There was an amountof distaste when we discussed anything related to being born-again. Did it mean that by being born-again we should segregate ourselves from non believers? What type of Christianity teaching lets its members not interact with non believers? How will they reach the needy unbelievers?
This situation reminded me of something that had happened to me some years prior. That was the time when I wanted to get married. I had met a wonderful young man who had swept me off my feet and he had even proposed. The plan to get married was halted by our difference in our religious affliations. We could not agree on one religion, however it was anticipated that I would be the one to change to his. That was one thing that I did not plan on doing. This was a rough time going back and forth with religious write-ups even videos.
I often asked him to accommodate me in his church since I was not to ready to convert due to my unbelief issues. He would often cite that if we got married, he would be outcasted by his church. Plus I would not be welcomed in the church. He was pretty serious about being outcasted that he did not know whether to break up the relationship or disobey his church’s teachings.
As I was reading the Bible, I came across a verse in Matthew 18:15-17. The verses basically speak of how brothers and sisters should settle their disputes. Since they come from the same belief, they can directly but privately sort it out. If the subtle approach does not work, they can involve some few brothers or sisters for the same cause. If this does not work then the issue is tabled for the whole church to sort it out. If the church does not succeed in solving it then the offender will be treated like a pagan or tax collector. In our present time this would be like an unbeliever.
The whole verse reminded me of why we cannot yoke with unbelievers. Yoking in this context will be having deals with unbelievers. This does not mean that we separate our selves from unbelievers. It takes great courage to invest with a person you simply know as a friend or family without a doubt that they may doublecross you in the future. A lot of people are bitter since they have short changed by their relatives or even friends on a number of business transactions, investments, or even relationships.
Currently most relationships are salty and sour. Has it always been like this? Even believers are facing challenges like unbelievers. Are we able to reduce these challenges for our brothers and sisters. The solution is to go back to the beginning. When people have the same understanding then the progress of their activities and conversations will have less hiccups.
I may have faulted the actions of the two people mentioned above. Maybe what they failed to do was explain to how me how my unbelieving nature hampered our dealings. True Believers develop a conscience which makes them chose to do the right thing all the time. It is written that you shall know them by their fruit but being human blinds us from rationale and unfortunately flow with emotion instead of reason. We are impatient to have results which may not be satisfactory then end up blaming everyone else for our mess.
Some people may argue that we have the civil law to govern us. Yes it for all of us but believers have a cushion to ease the unnecessary losses and problems of life. We are often told to read and meditate the world of God. For believers it is a resource that encourages, strengthens and gives direction when need be. For non believers it is just a book with a moral code.
Therefore we should be weary when engaging in private deals with people whom we dont share the same belief but not discriminate them. That is what Christ would want us to do.
Welcome to Nkatha's World 